lets talk shite

hello playmates it's gossip time again,

How y'all enjoying the great British summer or rather how did you enjoy it. It has of course finished now it was a week and a half long and it was last month, and wasn't it a corker? Now I'm not up on these things but I was led to believe that global warming would have us living in a sunsoaked, dry, desert like climate (apart from scotland of course where it seems to piss down constantly). Oh well, either I've been mis-informed or I'm far to stupid to understand it all! Yea I know what yer all thinking. Anyway the problem is that I can't afford to go back to Cuba this year and I'm wondering if any of you have an apartment abroad that I could BORROW for 2 weeks in August? Oh and can you foot the bill for the flights? OK I 'still' know what yer thinking but I was worth a try. So it's a long weekend in Tresaith (Search for it in google) for me. Never mind there's worse places to go like PRESTATYN in North Wales! Have you ever been? It's a God foresaken place just to the left of Rhyl (if you're looking in-land from the sea) and I have an deep loathing of the place coz I used to be taken there every weekend in the summer when I was between 11 to 14 years old. To be fair to the good people of Prestatyn (as if anybody actually lives there) I haven't been back since those days but I did pass it a few years ago on a coach trip Llandudno and it gave me a very chilled, uneasy feeling. What is he on about you ask? Not a clue says me!

You notice that we are not counting WE's this time or for that matter any words or any parts of any words (but it might be good to count how many 'any's coz we just had three in a row. But no, sod it)

So to RONALDOS business. As Ron says on the home page many thanks to Malcolm from Presteigne for his sterling work in standing in for E for the last few engagements (not gigs). What a super chap he is and a top double bass player to boot. We've asked him to look out for some venues in Prestiegne for us to play(why should they get away with it?). So if you're reading this Malcolm, We're coming soon. We did a lovely wedding near Welshpool, very posh and great fun, a private party in Pontesbury with me old friend Martin Luther providing a bull ride and D.J.ing. You need to book him for your function he's most excellent and he turns up on time. Click his name to go direct to his web site and if you book him tell him THE RONALDOS sent you. Then we was off down to visit our good friends in Redbrook near Monmouth at The first Redbrook Music Festival and what a well organised affair it was too. The weather was good, the venue was lovely and we finished in time for a quick one over the River Wye at The Boat at Penallt(thanks for hospitality Ben and Shaleen). Last Thursday we country boys set sail for London where the bright lights and pavements of pure gold beckoned. We ended up in Egham under the Heathrow flightpath to play at a well posh hotel for Andy and Suzy's wedding where we were made very welcome and some of us scoffed all the chocolates (greedy bastards) best of all was the wedding cake made from profiter rolls covered in chocolate. Fan-bloody-tastic.

This Friday we is back down to Monmouthshire to play at a private do in Rockfield (I hope they got profiter rolls, I'm thinking of putting them on the rider!) and then back to Shrewsbury on Sunday 20th for the Frankwell Beer Festival at The Wheatsheaf Public House. We was there last year and although it poured down we had a super time. We is on at 7:00pm so it won't be a late session for us although Shunt says he's going to pissed as a parrot and throw a sicky on Monday. Oh I do hope nobody from his laboratory is reading this (he's a Suction Master you know. That's a very specialised professor type fellow. He's as clever as a brain pie he just hides it well!)

So we'll see y'all somewhere soon and we'll bloody well look forward to it. (did I curse too much in that gossip? send your comments on a f--king postcard to:- Dr Fermin Stools, Complaints Department,THERONALDOS Headquarters, RONALDOS House, South Wales)

WOOT xxx

PS We are updating our light show so if you're about to scrap any working table or standard lamps (or shades) we'll be glad to take 'em off your hands or if you want your favourite lamp to appear live on stage with THE RONALDOS just bring it along to perform with us and we'll give it you back at the end (it'll need an ordinary 3 pin plug on it) Ta!